<< Back to all Blogs
Login or Create your own free blog
Layout:
Home > Moral Questions

Moral Questions

December 1st, 2006 at 06:40 am

I'm struggling with a situation pertaining to the last 2 cc bills from the business I used to have...........which is connected to the sister who caused the entire thing to end so badly....

My mom was asking me about my finances, and since we are truly pooling some of our funds at this point, I shared with her my need to pay off the final 2 bills from the business. She called today & said to be sure to write the check from the joint account (definately more her funds than mine at this point). As much as I would love to have these paid for, it certainly isn't my moms responsiblity. Although...(I can argue both sides quite well with myself here), she was the one who asked me to just give the business & inventory to my sister when the whole thing got nasty. So, following her directions, I ended up with WAY more in bills than I was expecting, as well as having no retirement plan to speak of and having to sell a piece of property & buy another and move.........and the list goes on and on.

So, the question remains, how often do I let my parents, (now, just my mom) bail me out? They have always been there, but I have always paid them back....this would be next to impossible unless we're talking lottery & I don't even play.

IF I write the check from moms account, that would mean I have no cc debt, except the one I keep for online purchases & pay off each month. Monthly bill no more than $250 these days, often times WAY less than that. I would love to have these gone....... Seems like I'm leaning more this direction all the time. Heading to moms for a few days next week, will have a decision by then.

Posted in no $pending day | 7 Comments »

7 Responses to “Moral Questions”

  1. Thrifty Ray Says:
    December 1st, 2006 at 07:03 am 1164956632
    1164956632

    This is a real thinker. I can see why it is so tempting and why you are hesitant too.

    There is always the option of paying your mom back afterwards if it just doesnt feel right.

    But only you know the details and what will feel right to you. I, too, have a hard time accepting help from my parents...But as a parent myself, I also know the joy of being able to help one of my kids when they could use it.

    Good luck with your decision!

  2. baselle Says:
    December 1st, 2006 at 07:35 am 1164958549
    1164958549

    Perhaps your mom is feeling guilty about how the whole thing turned out and that paying those bills would make her feel better.

  3. enoughwealth Says:
    December 1st, 2006 at 08:18 am 1164961101
    1164961101

    Look at it this way - as long as it's not more than your mom can afford, then it is ultimately only going to reduce the amount you and the sister inherit. If it's just you and her as beneficiaries, so much the better. If there are other siblings who will eventually end up paying for part of your debts, it's a bit less clear. If the amount is large enough to impact your mom's enjoyment of live, then I'd suggest you resist the urge to go halves with mom on this one.

    Regards
    http://enoughwealth.blogspot.com

    ps. I'm commenting without having read the rest of your blog (which I'll do now), so excuse me if my comment isn't relevant to your situation.

  4. LuckyRobin Says:
    December 1st, 2006 at 08:25 am 1164961500
    1164961500

    I think that if she wants to do it and can afford to do it, then let her do it. She may feel partially responsible for her advice to just give the inventory and stuff to your sister, not realizing at the time that you would be saddled with so much debt. It may be her way of balancing the scales. Or it just may be something she wants to do for her child. Parents are sometimes the most amazing people.

  5. sarah Says:
    December 1st, 2006 at 12:27 pm 1164976033
    1164976033

    If she can afford it then let her. There is nothing to be gained by either her or you by paying credit card interest. If you are uncomfortable with her paying this money pay her back some of the principal as you can. This way neither of you is paying the interest.

  6. mjrube94 Says:
    December 1st, 2006 at 02:29 pm 1164983359
    1164983359

    I agree that as long as it won't leave her destitute, and she offered, go ahead. Maybe you can talk to her about your concerns next week when you see her. As a parent, though, I doubt she looks at it like "bailing you out". I think most parents would choose to help a child in need, financially or otherwise, if they're able to do so.

    Good luck with this...

  7. contrary1 Says:
    December 2nd, 2006 at 03:28 am 1165030095
    1165030095

    Thanks for all the comments, I am tending to swing towards her paying the remainder of these bills off. It's not her debt, but then, it isn't mine either. My sister took the accounts for a ride after we had decided to end the situation. I had immeadiately put them into zero interest accounts & have been paying on them for a year and a half already.......so there is a bit more than half that would go to mom at this point.

    It is only my sister & I to inherit anything from the estate of my parents......and I do know there are some changes afoot due to the decisions made with the business mess. So, there are going to be some consequences to bad decisions in this case.

    The best part of getting these bills handled will be not having to see them each month. It would be a good move towards a new year & leaving the old "stuff" behind. Definately leaning towards having mom write a check and get these paid off. (and no, it won't leave her destitute. she has managed her funds well & has money to play with, as she calls it) Hope I'm in the same shape when I'm her age!

Leave a Reply

(Note: If you were logged in, we could automatically fill in these fields for you.)
*
Will not be published.
   

* Please spell out the number 4.  [ Why? ]

vB Code: You can use these tags: [b] [i] [u] [url] [email]